The Laursonian Institute

I had one of those days where I felt like I never really rose out of the bog and instead flailed around covered in swamp gunk all day.  Actually I take that back – this evening has been very nice.  I went to yoga (new instructor – decent!), came home, riled Lewis up for a walk to our local Sushi place, took another leisurely walk home, and then read an article I need to present to my lab’s reading group next week.  I think I’ll go to bed soon, though it’s not quite even 10 yet, because I’m feeling quite finished.

Rest of my day was decent enough, besides feeling generally incompetant.  I only have Lin 1 on Thursdays, which is both nice and somewhat aggrivating since I’ve got no other reason to be on campus, let alone awake so early.  I came home from that and got all the rest of my grading done, which I probably spent longer on than I needed to.  It’s amazing how well the kids are doing on the homeworks this week, since this is a part of the class kids usually don’t get very well.  Something must be working!

Though I might fall asleep on the couch so instead I did a little more work on Lewis’ PJs.  They’re coming together really surprisingly nicely, though every little thing is screwed up in one manner or another.  It’s all a big learning process, so I’m not too concerned with these… I haven’t thought through constructing a shirt before, and I know lots of things I’ll do differently next time.  However, I think the end result will be wearable (or at least I hope!) and if it keeps going like it has been so far, it will even be something to be proud of!  Today I sewed the front panels to the back piece, and got the whole collar made (including fancy-pants piping!).  Haven’t attached it yet, but I guess that’s off a few steps further.  I’m getting a little nervous as we get closer to the sleeve parts, but I don’t know if in reality those are going to be any worse than anything else.  But… circular!   Does seem daunting.

April 23rd, 2009 | Tags: ennui, paper, presentation, reading group, sewing, sushi, taing, yoga | Category: home, school | Comments Off

Oh blog.  I’m not doing a very good job with writing in you lately.  It feels like my time is all busy doing nothing, and trying not to stress out about getting anything done.  Of course, I’m getting all kinds of work done, but blogging has apparently fallen by the wayside.

Some important stuff has happened lately.  Yesterday Mom had to put Socks to sleep.  She called me all in tears, and it was really sad.  I’m feeling a little bummed, but on the other hand a little relieved that she doesn’t have any suffering left.  She wasn’t doing too hot when we saw her last month, and she’s been sort of touch-and-go for what feels like the last year.  It was harder seeing her fading out than letting her go.  It sure is strange to think she’s gone though – she was 16 years old.  I got her in 4th grade, I think, and it seems like she’s always been there.  Silly as it is, there are a few things from my childhood I feel a really deep connection with, some part of my spiritual formation I guess, and Socks was definitely a part of that.  Seems like she always knew what I was thinking.   Sigh.  Anyway.  She was a good cat, and a great friend, and I wish her well.

Not much else has been going on.  The usual school schedule – getting up early, hitting up class, reading, reading, reading, sinking into my post-reading daze and getting nothing else done.  We’re doing a decent job of eating this week, as I managed to actually plan ahead of time and hit up the Co-op for proper ingredients.  Made jerk chicken today, from one of our favorite recipes.  Lewis grilled it outside, as it’s been super hot here lately.  So good!  Weather seems to be turning tonight – it’s supposed to be something like 20 degrees cooler tomorrow, which is great.  I wasn’t ready for our near-100s weather yet!

April 22nd, 2009 | Tags: cooking, pets, socks, weather | Category: life, school | Comments Off

Haven’t felt too much like blogging lately… it’s been a busy weekend.  And it’s hot!  Got up to 90 degrees today.  Picnic Day (100,000 person all-Davis free-for-all) was yesterday, and we had a really great time.  Spent today doing work, primarily, though I did make it to the gym.  Yay.  Now, to bed!

April 19th, 2009 | Tags: picnic day, short | Category: life | Comments Off

It’s been a pretty fantastic minimal-work type of day.  In short:

• went to lin 1 this morning, did very little, but had a nice chat with my co-TAs after class.
• came home, had a really good salad for lunch (blood oranges, pecans and goat cheese!)
• read outside in the hothot sun for a while
• played two games of croquette with Lewis!
• hit up yoga, felt relaxed and well stretched
• Lewis made me the tastiest dinner wrap evar
• came home and attempted to begin sewing Lewis’ PJs… marginal success, but I’m feeling stoked!

Section tomorrow AM, so I should probably take myself off to bed.  I do wish this yoga class were a little later in the day because I have plenty of time after class to get myself all worked up again.  Lame!

April 16th, 2009 | Tags: croquette, sewing, sunshine, yoga | Category: home, life | Comments Off

Wednesdays are great days.  Though I had section this morning, and it was sort of just alright.  For some reason, that section is sort of… slackery.  They only sort of of half did their homeworks, half participated in class, and only one or two kids really seem to care at all.  A couple fell asleep, which is par for the course.  My Friday section just seems sharper and more with it.  But as I said, section was passable, and I got through it, and really 50 minutes a week is nothing I should be losing sleep about.  Though I did have a total anxiety dream this morning that everything I wrote on my board was jibberish and I mixed all my examples up and everyone snuck out of the room but a few kids at the end.  A complete mess!  Thankfully section was not nearly that bad!

After section I always feel really free, even though I’m already running late for cogneuro.  Class was great, we had a guest lecture from a professor who is also heading up the “ERP Bootcamp” Lewis and I are attending this summer.  His lecture was great, his research was interesting, and he was really open to questions.  It’s interesting to be taking this cogneuro class which is being treated essentially like a weekly rotating seminar.  I’m getting at least a taste of all the major labs at the Center, and who is doing research on what.  Very neat.  Also heard from my lab professor today, and I’m feeling well relaxed about our plans.  He’s been on vacation and I was worried I was being lazy, but it turns out he’s really busy, and I think working by myself for now is probably best for both of us.

The rest of my day was great – hit up the gym, had a really delicious salad for dinner, watched episode three of our Masterpiece Theater adventure, read two and a half papers, and graded my Friday section’s homework.  So good!  It’s been a good, relaxed, productive day.  Yep.  Oh!  I also forgot to blog about summer jobs – Lewis and I both got minimal employment with the department for part of summer, which when I put it that way, sounds lame.  But realistically, I hadn’t been holding out getting any work this summer, and a TAing gig for each of us is fantastic.  Minimal work, minimal pay, but a little bit of cash flow is just what I could have hoped for.  And it’s within the school at that!   All is well.

April 15th, 2009 | Tags: class, lazy, section, summer, taing, work | Category: life, school | Comments Off

It’s been a down-and-up kind of day.  I’m hoping for the opposite tomorrow.  For some reason, grading homeworks always makes me sort of grumpy (usually because students are all the time trying to pass of half-finished and shittily-done work as credit worthy)… so today being the first homework day sort of put me over the edge this afternoon.  My morning was actually pretty good, class was amusing and we had a good meeting afterword, but the wind kicked up and made my ride home sort of frustrating, and then I hit the homework pretty hard.  I think this is all a long way of saying, “something stressed me the hell out” and it took me all evening to recover.  Had a lovely dinner, though, and spent the evening watching some Masterpiece Theater and listening to jazz with Lewis.  Cheered me up considerable.  And now… bed, so that I may section in the morning.  Thankfully, section usually makes up for what I lose in homeworks – faith in my students, enjoyment of TAing… that sort of thing.

April 14th, 2009 | Tags: grading, taing | Category: school | Comments Off

Ah, Monday nights.  Monday nights are my slow n’ easy yoga nights.  So round about now, I’m feeling all relaxed and ready to crawl into bed for a restful sleep.  It’s always somewhat difficult coming home and trying to decide what to do with myself in these last few hours, but tonight I think bed might win out.  Bed and some enjoyable (though still school) reading.  It’s the first time I’ve really read science papers outside my discipline, and it’s funny now how relaxing the old structural linguistics books are.  These cognitive neuroimaging papers are going to be the death of me!

Today was a nice and abbreviated day.  The reading group I thought we had finished setting up apparently didn’t fit enough schedules to go through with, so it’s sort of indefinitely on hold.  That’s just fine with me, the short day was nice.  CogNeuro was a little troublesome this morning because I hadn’t realized we were supposed to read the papers other people were presenting on in advance and come prepared with questions and all that.  So I don’t think I got any participation points, and it bothers me somewhat that it appears my professor writes down the name of everyone who talks in class thus somewhat obliging everyone to have something to say all the time.  I understand it’s supposed to make us critical thinkers, but I feel so far out of my domain on these cognitive neuroscience topics, especially the vision research we’re talking about right now, that I seem to either have no questions at all, or they sound dumb to me.  Oh well.  I’m running through my “options” mantra and reminding myself that ones days worth of performance is nothing that needs to reflect on me generally, and I’ve got all quarter to get myself going on this.  Not to mention, I’m feeling a bit pleased with myself for understanding any of what’s going on, and if my deficit reflects itself in an absence of participation… that’s fine.

So I spent the whole rest of my day reading cogneuro papers, and preparing myself for reading more neuroling papers soon.  I got that all squared away pretty early, so I still had time to pin and cut Lewis’ jammies!  It’ll all be coming together before I know it.  I just hope they fit.  The material is really comfortable, so I’m not too worried about them being cozy, but it would be nice if they fit in some rational way.  Then I took myself off to yoga, and sort of failed to get in “the zone” cause the room was rather crowded and the lady next to me was quite distracting. At the end, though perhaps not feeling all centered, I am at least feeling all stretched.  I’d go so far as to even call myself relaxed!  And as I said before, that’s my only gym goal.  So hurrah, another success.

Now I think Roman Jakobson and I have a study date!

April 13th, 2009 | Tags: cogneuro, papers, reading group, relaxed, sewing, yoga | Category: Uncategorized | Comments Off

I’m feeling stressed out.  And disappointed in myself for being stressed out.

It was sort of a rough day, though Lewis made me a lovely waffle breakfast with strawberries this morning.   Spent the rest of the day wrestling with some rolls I was making for easter dinner with the Lawyers.  Probably should have used a recipe I’ve tried before, but I’m always game to get to try something new, especially when it’s something sort of time consuming I don’t usually get a chance to try.  Stupidly it took an hour longer than I was hoping, and they didn’t even turn out very well.  I shouldn’t have stressed out about it.

Through the stress fog, some good things went on.  I got a nice walk this morning to get some ingredients, and the dinner at this evening was very nice.  I also got all the laundry done.  And did some reading outside, where I got a small sunburn.  I was going to hit up the gym today, but it was closed for the hoilday.  I do think it would have helped chill me out.  I wish I knew some more immediate way to alleviate my anxiety, it really ruins my days.  Or at least sucks the life out of them.

Tomorrow is a new day.   I slept off my stress last night and woke up feeling well this morning.  I can do it again.

April 12th, 2009 | Tags: baking, dinner, easter, stress, sunshine | Category: life | Comments Off

Good day, but sadly I must admit my first stressed out day this quarter.  Ever since my awkward office hours with that kid yesterday I’ve had the same stupid elephant-on-chest heart-scared-of-breathing lungs-full-of-flan feeling I had all last month.  Makes me feel distracted and grouchy spending every minute waiting for my heart to start some crazy death spiral.

Despite this, I think I had a pretty good day.  Got work done this morning after making a delicious breakfast scramble.  Made chili in the slow cooker for dinner, and spent a good few hours slowly biking around town and visiting the dairy cows on campus and having frozen yogurt.  So really, I don’t know what my problem is.  But right now I just want to go to bed and wake up and have it seem likeone of the clear, open-ended, wonderful days I’ve been so lucky to wake up to lately.  Sigh.

April 11th, 2009 | Tags: cooking, cows, heart, stress, yogurt | Category: life | Comments Off