The Laursonian Institute

Like I told Lewis earlier… today is one of those days that will probably never happen again.  Today is the day I both got a scholarship, and a brain scan!   What are the chances?   I’m pretty excited about this scholarship.  The money will be nice, though it’s not a great amount, but I feel like more importantly the outword show of faith from the department and nice CV boost are priceless.  I had been worried when I first got in to Davis with Lewis that I was perhaps an accessory to his more glorious career, but since actually getting here and starting classes I’ve felt like my work speaks for itself, and I’m showing myself to be a worthwhile asset.  This just sort of proves it, in a fancy sort of public way!  I’ve never gotten any sort of meritorious scholarship before, and it means a lot to me that this isn’t just part of some big pool of money that I got a piece of for being a decent student.  I got our department’s only scholarship – a nod from other linguists that I’m a promising student!  Yay!

So, yeah.  It was a wildly successful day, even though it got off to a rocky start.  I slept really poorly last night, and woke up pretty grumpy.  We had a great night last night, playing Apples to Apples and Zombie Fluxx with a bunch of Linguists and their significant others.  I made a chex mix-like party mix (which was really good) and a strawberry rhubarb crisp (which was tasty but amorphous) and others brough various goods.  It was originally going to be at someone elses’ house, but she got sick, so we emergency hosted, and it was a good excuse to finally clean at least the common areas in our house.  Anyway, after all that adventure last night, I just couldn’t sleep – heart palpitations and the like.

So I made muffins this morning – apple cranberry ones, whole wheat with orange zest and walnuts – and they turned out really well.  Muy sabroso.  Went to the gym after that and worked out pretty hard.  Weekends are a great time to hit up the gym since no one is there, and I had the women’s room to myself.   Worked out for longer than usual, and then I got to try all the weight machines I’ve been curious about, since no one was there to see me make a fool of myself.  Was pretty beat when I got home, but I took a real nice long shower and had some lunch and got back in the swing of things.

Ran off to Sacramento after that to visit the UC Davis Imaging Research Center, where my lab does its fMRI scanning.   I was volunteering to be a subject in the control group of  a sign language study my advisor is working on, mostly to get the chance to do an fMRI study.  Being in the scanner is hard to describe – on one hand more difficult than I would have thought, but on the other hand, also less clausterphobic and nerve-wracking than anticipated.  The tasks were amusing, and being in the magnet doesn’t really feel like anything more than being anywhere else tiny but safe while your head is strapped to a plank.  I suppose what I mean to say is the magnetization isn’t really discernable.  I was glad I had taken that fMRI class already though, because I could identify what the noises were probably being caused by, and I knew enough to know what the magnet would and would not do, and thus it was more interesting than scary.  I can see being pretty wigged out by all that stuff if you were a kid or someone without the background on RF coils and all that.  Anyway, I would certainly do it again, I thought it was rather fun.  I’m sure I’ll post a picture of my brain when the person running the study emails me a copy of some of my high-res anatomical scan data.  I’m looking forward to it!

Post-scan I was hungry and eye-strained, but happy that Lewis had come with me, and we were going out to dinner!  Hit up the Tower Cafe, where our friend Maya works, and had the most delicious dinner and wine and desserts.  Maya was even working, so we got to chat her up a bit.  It was nice, since we haven’t had a chance to catch up with her in a while.  I do hope we can do something soon, I really enjoy her company.   Anyway, came home and Lewis gave me a really nice neck rub (which I needed after that hour and a half of forced immobilzation in the scanner)  and we listed to some good jazz records.  And I got a barrage of congratulatory facebook messages in my email.  Nice way to cap off a nice day!

May 2nd, 2009 | Tags: cooking, excited, fmri, friends, game night, party, restaurant, scholarship | Category: life, school | Comments Off

I dremt this morning that I decided not to go to class, and then omnipotently realized that none of the other TAs came either, and felt bad about it.   Then I woke up and realized that I had actually turned my alarm off already, and thus was already a bit late.  Not much, but mussing up my pre-consciousness routine always messes with my day.  My optimal wake-up strategy is to wake up the first time my alarm goes off, calculate how many minutes until I actually get out of bed (usually the exact same time, give or take about four minutes) and then sleep in three to five minute chunks until I arrive at the sweet spot (total = about 18 minutes).  If I have to haul myself out of bed the first time I see the clock I stay muddled all morning, if not all day.

So my day was sort of a drag.  I got my handout made for the presentation I’m giving tomorrow, and I got all my papers graded and put in the grade book.  I also went to yoga, and had a particularly rough class today.  Somehow it seemed to take me three times longer to do anything than it should.  And I was mid-level grumpy all day, which is stupidly so hard to shake, and compounds on itself.  Meh.  Anyway, I’ll be glad to have tomorrow out of the way, and this week over with.  We’re having a cute game & snacks night with a bunch of us linguistics kids, which should be a lot of fun.  So I just have to get through a section, my office hours (which are sometimes quite a trial..) and this presentation, and then I’m home free.  Phew.  Four weeks of nothing, and then one last class presentation, and we’ll be on summer vacation before I know it!

April 30th, 2009 | Tags: grading, grump, presentation, routine, sleep, yoga | Category: life, school | Comments Off

Slow going today. I hate it when you only have one thing to do, and no energy to do it with. So impotent.

April 30th, 2009 | Tags: twitter | Category: life | Comments Off

Mondays are one of my favorite days, because I’ve got my 7:30 yoga class.  Yoga at the end of the day is the best!  I come home all relaxed and feeling well and ready for bed.  Today’s class had a bit of an odd twist to it, though I’m trying to not make anything of it.  While we were doing our little cool-down meditation (where you just lie on your back and breathe) the instructor came and gave me a mini-massage – feet, knees, chest and head! – and didn’t seem to do this to anyone else.  It was a little awkward!  On the other hand, it was also very relaxing and felt nice.  I’m going to assume she was just being nice and maybe I looked like I needed some extra relaxation.  Otherwise, I’m not sure what to think!

The rest of my day was also excellent, and thankfully not also awkward!  Class this morning (cogneuro) just about killed me.  A big uppy-up was guest teaching, which actually isn’t unusual, since we usually have guest lecturers present the work their labs are doing once a week.  This one was strange because this guy already gave his lecture, but presumably our teacher was just out of town or something today, so he sat in for a second day to oversee the student presentations that we do the other half of our time.  Sadly, a kid was presenting work this guy had published, so it took him a whole hour to get through his 20-minute powerpoint since the uppy-up had a bunch of stuff to add after every point.  Pooh.  We only had two presenters today, so we were going to get out an hour early – but we almost got out late instead!  Not to worry though, because our Wednesday class was cancelled.  Yay!

I got lunch with Lewis at a great cafe just a few blocks from the Center, so that was a wonderful find.  Gourmet sandwiches for 6 bucks!  I’m always on the lookout for good places that aren’t crowded, expensive, or crappy.  This place is friendly, delicious, convenient, and relatively crowd-free!  Yay!  After lunch I was supposed to hang out in the lab until it was time for our inaugural Journal Club meeting, which my advisor-to-be had asked me to run today.  Presented two articles there, both of which had fruitful discussions, and I think I did very well.  Or at least as well as one could expect to do in a we’re-all-friends no-consequences sort of meeting.  I’m happy with the result, at any rate, and off the hook for journal club for probably the rest of the quarter.  Whoo!  Also got myself signed up for some more fMRI stuff this weekend — one session worth of scanning shadow (hopefully we’ll be less rushed and I’ll get more info) and once to be scanned myself!  I’m hoping to come out of this with a nice high-res picture of my very own brain.  And hopefully I don’t panic in the magnet.

Only other triumph worth mentioning today is that I finished sewing Lewis’ PJ shirt!  It turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself, though I know I messed a number of things up.  There are just a handful of things that show (like the pocket which is kind of crooked), but I learned a hell of a lot, and there isn’t anything I think I didn’t learn from.  The next shirt will be mucho mas smoother.  I’m really excited to get moving on the pants so the whole outfit will be done, but I lost patience with it today after wrestling with the button holes for a whole hour and a half.

All things considered, it’s been a most triumphant day!

April 27th, 2009 | Tags: cogneuro, fmri, presentations, reading group, sewing, triumph, weird, yoga | Category: home, life, school | Comments Off

Oh blog.  I’m not doing a very good job with writing in you lately.  It feels like my time is all busy doing nothing, and trying not to stress out about getting anything done.  Of course, I’m getting all kinds of work done, but blogging has apparently fallen by the wayside.

Some important stuff has happened lately.  Yesterday Mom had to put Socks to sleep.  She called me all in tears, and it was really sad.  I’m feeling a little bummed, but on the other hand a little relieved that she doesn’t have any suffering left.  She wasn’t doing too hot when we saw her last month, and she’s been sort of touch-and-go for what feels like the last year.  It was harder seeing her fading out than letting her go.  It sure is strange to think she’s gone though – she was 16 years old.  I got her in 4th grade, I think, and it seems like she’s always been there.  Silly as it is, there are a few things from my childhood I feel a really deep connection with, some part of my spiritual formation I guess, and Socks was definitely a part of that.  Seems like she always knew what I was thinking.   Sigh.  Anyway.  She was a good cat, and a great friend, and I wish her well.

Not much else has been going on.  The usual school schedule – getting up early, hitting up class, reading, reading, reading, sinking into my post-reading daze and getting nothing else done.  We’re doing a decent job of eating this week, as I managed to actually plan ahead of time and hit up the Co-op for proper ingredients.  Made jerk chicken today, from one of our favorite recipes.  Lewis grilled it outside, as it’s been super hot here lately.  So good!  Weather seems to be turning tonight – it’s supposed to be something like 20 degrees cooler tomorrow, which is great.  I wasn’t ready for our near-100s weather yet!

April 22nd, 2009 | Tags: cooking, pets, socks, weather | Category: life, school | Comments Off

Haven’t felt too much like blogging lately… it’s been a busy weekend.  And it’s hot!  Got up to 90 degrees today.  Picnic Day (100,000 person all-Davis free-for-all) was yesterday, and we had a really great time.  Spent today doing work, primarily, though I did make it to the gym.  Yay.  Now, to bed!

April 19th, 2009 | Tags: picnic day, short | Category: life | Comments Off

It’s been a pretty fantastic minimal-work type of day.  In short:

• went to lin 1 this morning, did very little, but had a nice chat with my co-TAs after class.
• came home, had a really good salad for lunch (blood oranges, pecans and goat cheese!)
• read outside in the hothot sun for a while
• played two games of croquette with Lewis!
• hit up yoga, felt relaxed and well stretched
• Lewis made me the tastiest dinner wrap evar
• came home and attempted to begin sewing Lewis’ PJs… marginal success, but I’m feeling stoked!

Section tomorrow AM, so I should probably take myself off to bed.  I do wish this yoga class were a little later in the day because I have plenty of time after class to get myself all worked up again.  Lame!

April 16th, 2009 | Tags: croquette, sewing, sunshine, yoga | Category: home, life | Comments Off

Wednesdays are great days.  Though I had section this morning, and it was sort of just alright.  For some reason, that section is sort of… slackery.  They only sort of of half did their homeworks, half participated in class, and only one or two kids really seem to care at all.  A couple fell asleep, which is par for the course.  My Friday section just seems sharper and more with it.  But as I said, section was passable, and I got through it, and really 50 minutes a week is nothing I should be losing sleep about.  Though I did have a total anxiety dream this morning that everything I wrote on my board was jibberish and I mixed all my examples up and everyone snuck out of the room but a few kids at the end.  A complete mess!  Thankfully section was not nearly that bad!

After section I always feel really free, even though I’m already running late for cogneuro.  Class was great, we had a guest lecture from a professor who is also heading up the “ERP Bootcamp” Lewis and I are attending this summer.  His lecture was great, his research was interesting, and he was really open to questions.  It’s interesting to be taking this cogneuro class which is being treated essentially like a weekly rotating seminar.  I’m getting at least a taste of all the major labs at the Center, and who is doing research on what.  Very neat.  Also heard from my lab professor today, and I’m feeling well relaxed about our plans.  He’s been on vacation and I was worried I was being lazy, but it turns out he’s really busy, and I think working by myself for now is probably best for both of us.

The rest of my day was great – hit up the gym, had a really delicious salad for dinner, watched episode three of our Masterpiece Theater adventure, read two and a half papers, and graded my Friday section’s homework.  So good!  It’s been a good, relaxed, productive day.  Yep.  Oh!  I also forgot to blog about summer jobs – Lewis and I both got minimal employment with the department for part of summer, which when I put it that way, sounds lame.  But realistically, I hadn’t been holding out getting any work this summer, and a TAing gig for each of us is fantastic.  Minimal work, minimal pay, but a little bit of cash flow is just what I could have hoped for.  And it’s within the school at that!   All is well.

April 15th, 2009 | Tags: class, lazy, section, summer, taing, work | Category: life, school | Comments Off

I’m feeling stressed out.  And disappointed in myself for being stressed out.

It was sort of a rough day, though Lewis made me a lovely waffle breakfast with strawberries this morning.   Spent the rest of the day wrestling with some rolls I was making for easter dinner with the Lawyers.  Probably should have used a recipe I’ve tried before, but I’m always game to get to try something new, especially when it’s something sort of time consuming I don’t usually get a chance to try.  Stupidly it took an hour longer than I was hoping, and they didn’t even turn out very well.  I shouldn’t have stressed out about it.

Through the stress fog, some good things went on.  I got a nice walk this morning to get some ingredients, and the dinner at this evening was very nice.  I also got all the laundry done.  And did some reading outside, where I got a small sunburn.  I was going to hit up the gym today, but it was closed for the hoilday.  I do think it would have helped chill me out.  I wish I knew some more immediate way to alleviate my anxiety, it really ruins my days.  Or at least sucks the life out of them.

Tomorrow is a new day.   I slept off my stress last night and woke up feeling well this morning.  I can do it again.

April 12th, 2009 | Tags: baking, dinner, easter, stress, sunshine | Category: life | Comments Off